Mindfulness meditation is more than a strategy to reduce anxiety, sadness or anger. Actually, the aim of mindfulness is to embrace everything that is present. To stop fighting what appears in your awareness and to create a different relationship with your emotions, thoughts and sensations, in which you accept them, even the ones we usually ignore or run from. Because not accepting them creates more suffering.
Therefore, when you meditate what happens is much more than the elimination of suffering. You can already feel no anxiety, or anger, or irritability and still not be in a meditative state.
The act of accepting and coming down to your sensations, perceiving yourself and the world through your body and not through your thoughts and judgments, brings something different to the table. It brings a different texture to your mind.
To be in a meditative state is a unique and personal experience. Therefore, it can feel differently depending on the person who is meditating and on what is happening in their minds at that moment. Maybe your mind feels chaotic and frenetic, or maybe it feels sleepy. And how does it feel for you to be sleepy? Perhaps we both have different sensations and impressions about being sleepy.
However, different people can have similar experiences. For example, when I’m in an automatic pilot and I’m not aware of my body, my mind adopts a very superficial texture. There is no depth to it. Everything feels blurry, like a cloud. Nothing is solid or grounded. I feel divided through a lot of things at the same time. I am not always aware of this sensation of superficiality, but if I stop for a while it usually appears.
On the other hand, when I meditate I am not scatter. I am not lost and divided through different things. There is a sense of unity and peace. When I breathe in and breathe out I am just one. When I breathe in and breathe out I am complete.
I feel connected and flowing with everything. I feel huge. I feel myself expanding more and more, and suddenly I don’t know where I end anymore. I can feel my breath everywhere. I can feel the craving of the in breath and the relaxation of the out breath inside and outside my body.
There is a depth to whatever I experience. I am no longer trying to swim in the chaotic waves of the ocean, I am down at the bottom of the sea. Here, there is a silence that is loud, there is a darkness that is illuminating and there is a calmness that is energizing.
I feel centered and grounded. I am no longer in several places at the same time. I am just here. And here feels infinite.